Long life to Mexico, you bastards!

Hola to all, all the way from Chiapas, Mexico! I have crossed the border from Guatemala into Mexico and received two more stamps on my passport - I so love when they do this! However, my trip across the border was quite frustrating and to recap all of my troubles in just a few sentences let me just say I left Antigua at 4 am and got into San Cristobal de las Casas around 7 pm. What was supposed to be an 11 hour trip turned into about 16 by the time I got into a hostal. It was a really long day with lots of bus changes and border issues and buses leaving me and then having to find random rides twice. Oh my goodness, I was so tired and mentally exhausted in using my Spanish. But I made it. And all the hassle was definitely worth what I got to experience today.

Meet Cesar. Amazing fellow and my personal tour guide to two Mayan villages: San Juan Chamula and Zincantan.


San Juan Chamula and Zincantan are two indigenous Maya villages very similar to the ones I will be working with in Guatemala. For those of you who are familiar with the Zapatista uprising/protest that took place in San Cristobal in 1994 against NAFTA (North America Free Trade Agreement), Zincantan was one of a few villages who participated and fought for indigenous land rights. I was extremely excited to visit this village because there are many similarities between the Zapatista Movement and the indigenous land rights movement in Guatemala. While I could write for hours about everything I learned today, there are three things that stick out in my mind the most: (1) Poverty is relative, (2) The conquest isn´t over, and (3) My spirit is lost.

Poverty is relative. Many people look at the way indigenous Maya live and automatically assume their lives are miserable without modern conveniences like hot water, cable, and electricity - things we take for granted every day. But in fact, they are probably the happiest and richest people I have ever come to know. What is most important to understand is that those who live this very simple lifestyle choose to do so of their own free will. They like it and although from pictures it looks (and is) poor by American standards, what is rich here isn´t measured by wealth or material belongings. And I envy that. They work to live. America lives to work. I really think we all could take a lesson in life from these wonderful people.




The conquest isn´t over. In the time spent in San Juan Chamula, I had a very interesting conversation with Cesar about how indigenous culture has thrived despite hundreds of years of attempts to destroy it. When we talked about the Conquest he made the comment that it wasn´t over, that it very much still existed, I asked him what he meant. And he pulled out a piece of paper that was being passed around by Christian missionaries.


Mayan religion is misunderstood worldwide, and when I saw this paper (handed out by AMERICANS) I was taken aback. Not only by these missionaries´ complete ignorance, but of their total disrespect as well. I am a firm believer in respecting another´s beliefs and opinions (hence the coexist tattoo) and I have always disliked the practice of knocking on one´s door preaching about the Lord. Cesar put it very well: ¨Mayans are very respectful of other religions. You may be different from us, but we don´t try to change you. We respect you. We would never go to America and knock on your door, telling you to sacrifice a chicken in the church.¨

And finally, today I learned my soul was lost. We visited a shaman healer in Zincantan who was going to perform a ritual in front of us. When I walked into the room, he looked at me funky and then asked if I could be his subject, if you will. He promised it wouldn`t hurt, so I said yes. When I asked him what he was going to do he told our guide in his Mayan language that he could tell just by looking at me that my spirit was lost, that it had left me during some recent, traumatic event in my life. This was quite eery and kind of freaky so much that it sent chills up my spine not only because he was dead on, but because I really hate that he can tell that about me. So, he performed the ritual by starting out checking my pulse. Based on the rhythm of your pulse, whether it be soft or fast, I guess he is able to tell if your soul still resides in your body. He determined mine was lost and then he waved leaves that smelled like basil, blessed the saints and then patted my whole body with the leaves whilst chanting. He then took an egg and rubbed it on my wrists, up and down my body, then on my head, and finally he cracked it into a bowl and read it. What it said, I don`t know. After that, he poured alcohol on my arm and sucked it with his mouth up and down my arm, blessing it with chants. In the end, he kissed my wrists, made the sign of the cross on my forehead, and just left. I feel very odd this afternoon after going through that. It was a neat experience and I wish I had pictures of it (not allowed during ritual ceremonies) but I am really unnerved in many ways. How can he see that about me?

I decided I am going to visit the Mayan Herbal Medicine Center here in San Cristobal tomorrow to have an herbal drink made that is used to help the spirit return to your body. I hope my spirit comes back. For the first time in a really long time, I actually feel like praying. Weird.

Banana Tree.

On Sunday, Evan and I took an eight hour bus ride to Semuc Champey - my favorite part of Guatemala. It´s mere seclusiveness and the fact there is no access to any part of the outside world is what drew, and what still draws, me to the area. The views over the countryside are breathtaking and make you speechless. There are endless upon endless fields of coffee farms, greenery, mountains, and jungle. Life here in this part of Guatemala is so much more different than in Antigua - it´s more down to earth and I´m really glad Evan thought the eight hour drive was worth it. I was a little nervous!

After our first night staying at Jam Bamboo (a backpacker´s hostel), we hiked to El Mirador and spent the day at the Semuc lagoons. El Mirador is a hike through the jungle which ultimately leads to a lookout point over the natural lagoon water. It was so neat to hike through the clouds and ultimately find ourselves at the top of a mountain overlooking the river, waterfalls, and bright blue lagoons. We spent quite a bit of time up there, not even talking but just taking in the scenery. It was gorgeous and though it was rainy, it was so much fun!







One of the highlights of this particular adventure was meeting a couple who were truly inspiring individuals, each in their own right. The woman is a girl from South Africa who has been traveling the world for 12 years. The guy is from Michigan and has been traveling for 5 years: both finance their travels by teaching English abroad. Their stories of all their adventures across the world have only given me clarification in knowing what I´m doing right now is the right thing. Though at times I get lonely and wonder, "Lindsay, what the HELL are you doing?" I am so happy that I´m following through on this journey. One of the greatest things about meeting people during these adventures is that they are people just like me and what´s even better is they totally get me. They are encouraging and wonderfully sweet and would do anything to get me closer to my dreams. I have made some new friends and look forward to keeping in touch with them!

Unfortunately, our drive back from Semuc on Tuesday was less than desirable and our travel plans to spend the rest of the week at Lago de Atitlan ended up not happening. Evan was sick that night, the worst he has ever been. And I mean doble vias - both ways. Poor guy. I thought maybe he had parasites from eating some of the street food which isn´t all that uncommon among foreigners here, but when his fever wouldn´t go away, Silvia and I decided to take him to the doctor. I´m really glad we did because the medicine I went and got for him wasn´t having any effect. He actually had salmonella poisoning from what we figured out to be from a hamburger he ate. But no worries, he´s doing much better now that he had a nice big shot of antibiotics in the ass. We are now spending the rest of the week with Silvia in Antigua and though I´m sad he doesn´t get to see the beautiful lake, he will at least get to experience Semana Santa - the biggest Easter celebration in Guatemala and to which people from all over the world travel to see. So excited!

On a random note, on our drive back to Antigua from Semuc Champey we rode behind a truck with a guy on the back wearing a t-shirt that said "My dick tastes like chapstick." It was hilarious...only because you know for sure he has no idea what the hell his t-shirt says. Probably not the most appropriate thing to write on here, but I don´t want to forget this funny moment.

Talk to you guys soon. Missing you all.

My whore amigo, Evan and Volcan Pacaya.

I woke up this Friday morning to the greatest surprise ever. My best friend, Evan (or mi mejor amigo in Spanish...or my whore amigo when pronounced the wrong way) surprised me by booking a last minute plane ticket to Guatemala for his Spring Break. He booked his flight at midnight and arrived in Guatemala City at noon. I was so shocked and so ecstatic all at once, I couldn´t get the smile off my face. I booked it to the city and picked him up. We didn´t waste any time and over the past couple of days have had some wonderful memories in this beautiful country that will last a lifetime. I´m thinking he loves it just as much as I do and it feels nice to have someone else who totally gets why I love it here.

For all of Silvia´s hospitality and providing a room last minute for Evan, we decided to help cook a typical Guatemalan meal for her. So, Saturday morning we spent the morning in the Antiguan market buying food and flowers. The meat market never ceases to amaze me. It is quite disgusting and walking through the fish market was the worst. I couldn´t stand the smell, so I started breathing through my mouth. That only made it worse because then I could taste the danky fish and my efforts to avoid the smell after that were merely holding my breath and breathing as little as possible. I´m sure my face was priceless. On the other hand, it was so cool to go through a market like the one here in Antigua. It´s very similar to the farmer´s markets I went to in San Francisco last summer, but there are ten times more people and more food. Is it weird to say it was beautiful? I mean beautiful isn´t the best way to describe meat carcasses, but that is the only word that comes to mind.




After our big feast of carne asada and guacamole, I decided the first event of our journey together should be to hike Volcan Pacaya at sunset. It is an active volcano about an hour away from Antigua and which I have one of the best memories of during my previous visits here. I really wanted Evan to experience the same rush and excitement I felt when I first hiked this volcano in 2008. It is an experience like no other and almost impossible to describe the mix of emotions you feel during the hike. You feel small when surrounded by mountains of lava rock and a never ending view of mountains and volcanos, and then you feel huge when you´re standing on the edge, taking in the scenery and the quietness and the sound of flowing lava. It´s peaceful, it´s exciting, it´s wicked.

El Sismo.

I was in an earthquake. No reason to beat around the bush. Don´t worry though, my friends. Everything is ok! I was at Ixchel when it happened (March 24, 2010) and didn´t realize it was an earthquake until the whole building was shaking. The tremble lasted for maybe a minute. It could have been shorter, but it seemed like it lasted forever. The newspaper said the magnitude of the earthquake was a 4.7 and happened on the southern coast of Guatemala (the Pacific side) but was felt all the way to the center of the state. Fortunately, nothing was structurally damaged and not many people were hurt. It was pretty eery when the tremble happened though and it kind of freaked me out considering the Haiti earthquake just a few months ago. However, it does make for a good story because now I can actually say I´ve been in one!

I am happy to say my Spanish is finally coming back to me. I was having trouble speaking when I first arrived, but now that I´ve spent a few days here I´m getting back into the swing of things. I suppose it just takes a few days to adjust to everything. I do, however, still have trouble expressing my thoughts in some situations and it drives me insane. Thank goodness for great friends and teachers who are always patient with me. Here is my lovely teacher and good friend from Guatemala, Lesli. You can see exactly how our teaching lessons go everyday...especially considering this picture was taken during class time. At the pool.



Talk to you guys soon and Happy 22nd Birthday to my good friend, Evan!

Bienvenido a Guatemala.

Just a quick note to let you all know I have finally arrived in Guatemala and am safe and sound! It feels so great to finally be here - I´ve been talking about it for so long it just seems crazy that this amazing journey I´ve been dreaming about for months is finally happening.

I had a wonderful last night in the States with Bob and Evan who drove me to St. Louis. We went to Dave and Buster´s for dinner and games. If you´re from Columbia and remember that place, Pocket Change, that used to be in the mall, you know what I´m talking about. It´s a massive room full of video games and we got some sweet prizes with the tickets we collected. It was a good night and I appreciate their driving me there and dropping me off at the airport the next morning - I know they were both super exhausted from the hours they´ve been keeping the past few days so THANK YOU!!

My flight got in around 2 pm Guatemalan time yesterday. I got through customs and baggage claim fast and wouldn´t you know it, but someone stole my black yoga pants of all things in my pack. They were really comfy too, dammit. Yesterday was a long day for me, but I made up for it by sleeping 11 hours last night...I went to bed at 7and Francesco told me this morning that I am a grandma. Oh well, if I have to come all the way to Guatemala to finally relax then a grandma is what I´ll be!

In my short time here I have had my first cold shower of many more to come. Yep...it still sucks. Surprisingly, I can still take 2 minute showers here. What´s the military time shower? 1 minute? I will try it sometime. I have also spent 4 fantastic hours at Ixchel with my good friend Lesli and shared some great laughs with her. Ixchel is quite different this time. There aren´t as many students and the atmosphere seems slower and more relaxed. I still love it, just a different pace. Slower is good - I´ve been so used to fast paced the past few weeks it feels kinda nice to slow the mind a bit. I have also eaten the biggest meal of my life today at lunch. I swear, Silvia is bound and determined to fatten me up in one week and I will let her. She still calls me her little china (Chinese girl) because I´m obsessed with rice - I could seriously live off of it I love it that much. I also ask for it with every meal...even breakfast.

Well, I just wanted to let you guys know I made it safely. I will write again later in the week. Miss you guys and thank you so much for the kind words and messages I´ve received the past few days. I appreciate you all very much!

Leaving on a Jet Plane.

I have this pack.



And this many clothes.



This will fit into that. Somehow, someway I will make it happen.

Hence the packing, the number of days until I leave have dwindled to me being able to count them down on one hand. I'll be leaving from St. Louis early Sunday morning, like 4 am early. My good friend, Bob, will be driving me to the airport Saturday night so I look forward to the road trip up there. I should be landing in Guatemala City early in the afternoon and I will catch a chicken bus to Antigua (those old, beat up American school buses from the 1970s that make the difference between a $30 taxi ride and $1.00 bus ride). I’m ecstatic to see Silvia, Francesco, Lesli, Sabina, Willi, Alvaro, Diego, Samuel…some of my many friends I made when I lived in Antigua the summer of 2008. I’ve been informed it has been one year and eight months since I left (not that anyone’s counting) and everyone is resting in preparation for the “chica loca” (or crazy girl) that’s coming. Haha. I just hope I remember my Spanish!

Many thoughts running through my mind this week..

I’ve been emotional – especially with leaving my Dad. I am definitely leaving with a heavy heart and have struggled with the decision to stay and help my Mom or to leave. Thank god for his and my Mom’s understanding and selflessness – I couldn’t ask for any greater parents than them. I know he’ll be OK, but their selflessness just makes me wonder if I'm being selfish...

I’ve also felt overwhelmed with love for my awesome friends Bob, Evan, and Elli. They have made my last two weeks in the States wonderfully memorable. I am really going to miss them, especially the dinners and good, wholesome fun we all had together. They are all amazing individuals, so sweet and genuine and loving, and I instantly had a connection with all three of them. I need a stable friend base – I think they’ll be that for me..and I hope to be that for them as well. I am so incredibly lucky to know and have them in my life! <3

I feel bad I wasn't able to see everyone before I left and know that I am leaving some things unresolved, but whatever happens I can't sweat the small stuff. Missing you all already and I will let you all know when I have safely landed in Guate. Pen pals are definitely wanted! E-mail is lmwallace01@gmail.com

Introduction.

“Strive to discover the mystery before life is taken from you.
If while living you fail to find yourself, to know yourself,
how will you be able to understand
the secret of your existence when you die”

My favorite Sufi poet, Attar, wrote this. It’s hard to explain in words why I’m leaving my family and friends and, basically, my life, behind. But I think Attar sums it up in a way I haven’t been able to before. I have always been a passionate person, searching for meaning, purpose, and spirituality in my life. However, at some point, I got so caught up in living my life for others (and according to how others wanted) that I lost parts of me. Who am I? What do I want? What do I enjoy? What don’t I enjoy? How does all of that make me feel? When I realized I could not definitively answer any of these questions without linking my responses to what my parents, friends, and ex-boyfriend felt/enjoyed, I knew I wanted to make a change.

Like a sign from God, The NY Times swooped in and recommended I read Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love book, which made me ask one very fundamental question: Am I living life for myself? The answer, if you can’t tell from above, was: hell. no. you’re not. And while I love my parents and friends (eh, not so much the ex-boyfriend) and they have all shaped me into the person I am today – I wanted to seek the answers to those questions for myself.

So, taking a page out of Ms. Gilbert’s book, I have sold most of my belongings (furniture, car, everything), pocketed the money, and bought a one-way ticket to Central America. If there was one thing I knew that I loved despite the people around me, it was the way I feel whole when I’m completely surrounded by Latin culture.

So where did this path to self discovery begin? It began with Attar. And then there’s Elizabeth Gilbert. My favorite words she wrote were:

“Be prepared for endless and riotous waves of transformation.”

And so I will be.